Page 2, Angry at Me (Continued)

I’m not who I want to be, and this life is not what I wanted...

I can’t do enough for others, to take away the pain of being angry with myself.

There is no payment I can make that is big enough to take away the debt I owe myself –

For failing to achieve the ideal of my dreams.

I’m angry with myself, and when you tell me I’m no good,

When you won’t listen, when I’m afraid and just need a helping hand,

Your words and your looks stab my heart like a knife, and anger rises within me to protect what is left of my self-esteem.

Author: Randy Stahla, copyright 2006.

I laugh and cry and my emotions run wild

Because I lost who I was when I was a child

And no one here has any answers, and I criticize myself, for not being a different person, for not being able to change things

For not being able to get you to love me somehow...

Please help me forgive myself by giving me love when I’m angry; hope when I’m in despair; and help me to repair the ruins of my heart that remind me of my broken dreams.