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Then she remembered the day they buried the one she loved.
A person
With feelings, smiling, laughing, enjoying life
A person
Loved, needed, enjoyed
Beautiful eyes, beautiful thoughts, a sacred gift
A person
Who walks, and talks, and loves, and even fights
Who gets cold and hot and cries and laughs a lot…
And you can’t find a way
To say how much you need them
A person
Who made up your world – not like anything else -
A person
Flowing to and from you like the waves
Like gentle waves that almost touch your toes
Like a breeze that is never idle
A person –
Is now DIRT
In the GROUND
GONE
FOREVER
Nothing but dirt, nothing but nothing,
NOTHING!
How can a person become such an ugly thing?
You dig a hole and put them outside
When they used to come in from a storm
You put a stone in the earth with their name
That becomes unknown to most
In just a few years
I HATE THE DIRT
I HATE THE GROUND
YOU STOLE THE ONE I LOVE…
A voice came in the silence as Kalai wept on her knees,
“The coral was beautiful,
In the warmth of the sunlight,
In the blue pool was reflected
An awesome sight
The smile of the one I created…
I loved to see your smile by the pool.”
She stood up in a rage. She raised both her arms, clenched fists extended to the heavens, talking in whispers because she was too upset to use her voice,
“THEN WHY DID YOU DESTROY IT?”
“WHY DID YOU TAKE IT AWAY?”
“Every time I love something, every time I smile, every time I just begin to start over, the world crashes in around me. Now there is NOTHING. The beautiful coral, the beautiful pool, the fish, the places of beauty and safety are GONE. I have no safety now, I have no beauty now, I have nothing to look forward to, nothing will ever work out on this desolate, barren BLACK ROCK! I HAVE NOTHING!”
“There is nothing left…”
She crumpled down, sobbing, tears unceasing. Everything was ruined, everything was gone. She couldn’t stop thinking those words.
She heard a small, still voice ask,
“Everything?”
She looked out over the ocean, the waves crashing below against the black rock, steam coming up from her favorite place now in ruins, and answered,
“Yes, everything.”
Then the still small voice asked her a question,
“What about me?”
She gritted her teeth and wouldn’t answer. She clenched her fists harder. Anger held her heart in gridlock.
Then the still small voice spoke to her again,
“If all the beauty in the world were suddenly destroyed,
And all the dreams were crushed,
And all the hope was gone,
And all the world was barren,
Where would the maker of dreams, the creator of the world, the author of hope and beauty be?
Would the blackness, the emptiness, the coldness of losing the one you love make you blind and keep you from seeing me?”
“I am the Lord, who forms light,
And creates darkness,
Who creates peace,
And causes calamity,
I am the Lord who does all this.” (Isaiah 45:7)
“I am the Lord, who inhabits eternity,
And I dwell in a high and holy place.
I also dwell with the contrite,
And lowly of spirit,
In order to revive the heart of the contrite,
In order to revive the spirit of the lowly.” (Isaiah 57:15)
“You smiled at the coral, at the fish, at the beautiful pool. You were delighted with what I gave to you, but when the coral was gone your smile was gone. I came to you by the pool, but you didn’t notice me. You didn’t smile when you heard my voice. You weren’t happy to see or hear from me.”
“All you see is barren black, barren dirt, and a barren future, and you have forgotten the one who makes the future. For now you only see dirt and a gravestone, for now you only see the barren blackness, but someday you will see the one you love again. I am not the God of the dead, but I am the God of the living.”
“I will make the blackness you see below come alive again someday. And I will make all things new.”
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