I once had an ideal of who I was meant to be

I once had an ideal of life I would one day see, and through the years and through the tears, I still hung on to what I thought would be.

But now I look into a mirror and see someone who is different - someone I don’t know

Someone who has become a stranger to me.

I feel like other people have rearranged me

Author: Randy Stahla, copyright 2006.

Like a wind that drove me so far off the course I wanted to stay on, that I feel lost and alone and unable to change anything.

I have tried over and over to love and care for others, to make them part of a destination I once dreamed of – but I feel like I have failed...

And now I’m angry with myself,

For not being able or willing to change life around me.

When people criticize me it hurts so much, because it’s not just my fault,

It’s not just me, can’t they see,

But because I’m angry with me, I feel guilty when I defend myself.